So open adoption has made so many incredible things possible. My grandparents in St. Louis got to meet BB! My grandparents and aunt live in St. Louis so Macie and Tom came out with BB to stay with me in the condo. My parents were kind enough to stay with my aunt and grandma. My sister and her girlfriend got a hotel.
My grandfather is in a care facility for dementia and Alzheimer's. There really is a circle of life. BB's toys change and become more complex as she gets older. My grandfather's needs have changed as he gets older and his dementia progressed. His activities have gone in the reverse direction, he needs simplicity. We picked up lunch at Steak and Shake and met everyone at his care home to have lunch with him. He does NOT share his chocolate chip cookies with anyone. I've never seen him offer a cookie to ANYONE. He handed cookie after cookie to BB though. He got to meet his great granddaughter! I wasn't sure we would ever have the opportunity, I wasn't sure my grandpa would live long enough. I am so thankful to BB's parents for being so open minded. My grandpa shook Tom's hand and wanted to know more about Tom and Macie.
(sharing chocolate chip cookies with her great grandpa rich)
We went outside into the courtyard and I wasn't sure if BB and my grandpa would interact at all, but they found the most perfect game for the two of them without any help from us. Grandpa would hand BB a stick and she would go make a stick pile, this went back and forth for quite some time. It was really special and a lot of fun to watch.
My grandpa has limited communication abilities and knows we are his people but doesn't always comprehend what "wife," "daughter," or "son" correspond to. During a quiet moment, my mom took the opportunity to explain the adoption to him. I wasn't there but I think it went along the lines of, "Do you remember how we adopted Jacquie? Well Jacquie had BB and Macie and Tom adopted her, they are part of our family, isn't it wonderful?" We don't know how much he comprehends or how much he will remember but I think it was the right thing to do.
(BB and her great grandpa Rich playing the stick game)
My grandmother and my aunt were troopers, my grandmother was sick and my aunt had broken a few bones but they were there to meet BB, Macie and Tom and the airport and participate in as many events as possible.
This trip was a bit hard balancing so many priorities and events. We did make it to the butterfly garden in Faust Park and got this amazing family photo:
Another favorite photo was of my dad and my grandmother as a beautiful blue butterfly landed on her hair. Don't mind my mom just hanging out in the background lol!
(My dad, my grandma Jerry, my mom)
I loved that I got to be a part of bath time, and reading and playing blocks and watching Doc McStuffins. The show has an adoption story line! I love that BB tattled on me when we were playing with a funny light up stand up toy. We all went to a St. Louis Blues hockey game and she sat through the entire game watching it like a champ!! I held her and danced around while she giggled.
I wish I had known how amazing this would turn out. I wish I would have known how much I was going to love her, it would have made the pregnancy and adoption less stressful, but BB had it. Her personality is amazing, she was meant to be with her parents. It may not be your belief but there was clearly a larger plan and she is exactly where she was meant to be.
Her parents are amazing! On the list of things I wanted for her was to travel. She's not even two and has her own passport and has been to Canada to Banff National Park, I just gush over how incredible that is.
(Looking at the birds in my grandpa's care facility)
(My dad and my daughter :)
My parents went to a wedding recently and a family friend asked my mom why she and my dad weren't raising BB because they are amazing parents. My mom said, "well that is not what Jacquie wanted." That stayed with me for a few days. I asked my mom, "You know I didn't chose adoption thinking you and dad wouldn't be good guardians for her?" My mom replied, "Well, I think so." I told her she and dad are amazing parents but there was no way I would have been able to let them take the majority of the responsibility for her. It would have caused a lot of fights and resentment between us and that would not have been the best environment for BB.
BB has soooo much more than I/we could have ever provided and her parents are the most amazing people on this planet. Everyone in the family LOVES and adores them.
So in addition to the hockey game and butterfly garden we went to the zoo (for a very short time because it started storming really bad) and the budweiser brewery so BB could see Clydesdales :)
My amazing wonderful friend Joe came over and was our St. Louis tour guide for the day. We had amazing BBQ at Pappy's Smoke House and while stuck in St. Patricks Day Parade traffic managed to get us an amazing photo in front of the arch. Joe just hugs me and goes on these crazy adventures and is so open-minded and embracing and fun to be around. I hope to have that in the future in a romantic capacity. My family ADORES him! We went back for a trip in June and he and I had a picnic during Shakespeare in the Park, went to Grant's farm and did all kinds of fun dog rescue activities. He's going to visit me in D.C. next month :)
(Joe and BB with her Clydesdale and real one in the background!)
Between March and now August we have all shared stories and photos on BB's private facebook page and sent texts, which just always makes my day! There is a flurry of texts and laughter and smiles between my family whenever there is an update :)
I will be visiting in about a week in a half with my best friend Sarah for BB's 2nd Birthday :)
Sarah was there the day BB was born and taught us new parents how to swaddle. Sarah's been there for every visit and I just can't wait to introduce her to all of BB's family. Sarah has been my emotional security blanket through the adoption journey, when emotions get a little overwhelming she cracks a joke and i'm right back in the moment. She checks in with me when trips are getting closer, when it's anniversaries or birthdays or mother's day and I just love that about her. Everyone should get themselves a Sarah! The need for an emotional security blanket has grown into confidence and reassurance and excitement to bring others into our wonderful journey.
oh! Also the first part of the trip before heading out to see BB, I get to spend time with my biological family in Idaho. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!! I have missed them so incredibly much. I'm hoping this trip will plant the seed for an opportunity in the future for them to meet BB :)
