Don't be in such a hurry, you might miss something!

(This is the fourth in a series of posts about my trip out West, a trip as an adoptee to see my biological family, spend time with my daughter and her adoptive parents during her second birthday, and a road trip with my best friend filled with new experiences!)

So Sarah and I road tripped in a way that will forever change the way I road trip. Even if you are not taking a long drive and just want to see interesting things near you check out Atlas Obscura. It is a guidebook and online map with strange facts, interesting locations, and things to go and see you may not have ever known were there.

We didn't find anything of interest between Lewiston and Coeur D'Alene but I did find an ESGR Statement of Support! It was at Le Peep where we had a very yummy salmon and lobster breakfasts we split. It's really special to find something that links your professional and personal life in such a meaningful way.

By the way, Coeur D'Alene is a beautiful little town on the water with gorgeous houses and a quirky little personality, I highly recommend visiting!

                 (This is a photo of a photo in the restaurant, but you get the idea)

I also suggest the passenger should be awake and ready to Google at any moment. Sarah asked me to look up Wallace, Idaho. On September 25, 2004, Mayor Ron Garitone proclaimed Wallace to be the center of the Universe. Basically he said if you can't prove it to be untrue, it must be true. Therefore Wallace is the Center of the Universe. There's spaceships and man hole covers and everything. It is a fantastically quirky little place!

I also just found out on Wikipedia that Wallace was a location of one of my favorite guilty pleasures... Dante's Peak!! The 1997 film Dante's Peak was shot on location in Wallace, which was portrayed as the fictional town "Dante's Peak" in Washington state, with a large hill just southeast of the town digitally altered to look like a volcano. Many scenes involving townspeople, including the initial award ceremony, the pioneer days festival, and the gymnasium scene were shot using the actual citizens of Wallace as extras.

We were also glad we googled "Kellogg, Idaho." Basically a prospector lost his donkey and found it standing on a mine able ore. So Kellogg became a mining town "founded by a jackass and inhabited by his descendants." We thought we were going to get a story about cereal, but that was way better!

Don't be in a rush to just drive through everything to get where you are going, there are so many fun things to learn and do! That's the biggest lesson this trip has taught me. 

We arrived in Glacier National Park and set up camp. We stayed in Fish Creek Campground, which was beautiful but I probably would choose McDonald Lake if I had it to do over again. We set up camp and I learned just how much I love sleeping in my hammock. 

Sarah and I got up the next morning, filled our packs with layers of clothing and food and headed to Apgar Visitor Center to catch the shuttle up to Logan Pass. We stopped at Avalanche Creek first where you have to switch transportation and got out to hike for a bit. 

Trail of Cedars is the best for being handicapped accessible, having incredible views and very family-friendly. We started there and took it to the Avalanche Lake trail. 

                                            The water really is THAT blue!

I loved the light and the way the water carved through the rock. 

The rock looked like gold the way the light was hitting it!

We took the fork in the road to Avalanche Lake. It was about 4.5 miles and rated as moderately difficult. Karma also came into play. Sarah and brought extra food and water and gave it a couple who did not bring any. We paid it forward after the Joneses were so kind to help us out in the Sawtooths when we couldn't purchase fuel. The dense forest during the hike was incredible!

                  

I was a little angry during our trip because it was so smokey and so hard to see some of the views. 

                   

It was smokey but you can see the glacial amphitheatre with waterfalls and a gorgeous lake.

After the hike we headed back to the transportation area to take the transfer shuttle to Logan Pass. If I have the opportunity to do it again I think I would take one of the Red Shuttles where the roof comes off and you can take AMAZING photos on Going-to-the-Sun-Road. The bus gives you limited options, but still breathtaking and still an very steep drop right off the edge. 

     What a view!

I still need to look up how this happened!

I was still coughing from being sick and decided not to take the Hidden Glacier Trail with Sarah, it was becoming more and more smokey and irritated my breathing. You can see the smoke rolling into Logan Pass Visitor Center. 

There are all kinds of signs to stay 25 feet away from wild life. I kept telling this little Marmot he was going to get in trouble. He tried to steal my lunch and freaked me out by putting his little paws on my hand as I was leaning back relaxing. 

We headed back to the visitor center on the bus and did A LOT of shopping. I snuggled into my hammock and Sarah knocked out some reading. It was a nice way to spend the evening. We went to bed early knowing we had our longest drive ahead of us in the morning.

Next up: Bismarck, North Dakota for my daughter's second birthday!

The word mom means a lot of things

(This is the third in a series of posts about my trip out West, a trip as an adoptee to see my biological family, spend time with my daughter and her adoptive parents during her second birthday, and a road trip with my best friend filled with new experiences!)

So a little background if you are new to the blog: My birth mother Erica was a young teenager when she became pregnant. My biological father proposed, feeling that it was the right thing to do, he was also in the Marine Corps and about to deploy to South Korea if I remember correctly. Erica knew they could barely raise themselves let alone a baby. So a semi-open adoption was the plan.

Here we are 32 years later. She is so warm and so kind and hilarious and smart. She is also an incredible horse woman! Sarah and I left the Sawtooth Mountains and loved our drive to Lewiston. The landscape changed constantly and each sight was more breathtaking than the next.

With a few minor GPS hiccups we just made it to Erica's Drill practice at 8 p.m. just at the tail end but I was just so impressed with the quick pace, abrupt stops, turns and choreography she mastered on her horse with her other drill teammates. It was really fun to watch! She made a comment how as she's gotten older, she's just not quite as fearless as she used to be, but she looked fearless to me!

My birth mom Erica and Hoss

I also love that she claims me wholly and unabashedly. She introduced Sarah and I to her teammates introducing me as her daughter.

We followed her back to the ranch. After tent camping, a bed is the best thing ever! We headed into town and stopped at the shop they own and work at: Orchards Pawn, Guns & Tack. Erica's husband Ken was there and gave me a big hug. I don't know what his feelings are in regards to me, he's not a "feelings" type of guy, but what I do know is I always feel welcome and it's so clear he loves Erica and supports her, he helped Erica raise my brother JC and sister Amber.

                                Erica and Ken at the shop with his "ball and chain"

                                I call this Erica's side with all the tack

                                                           I call this Ken's side
   

I always learn something new about guns!

My brother JC actually lives right next to the shop, he works nights and was exhausted so we didn't spend a lot of time together but as a fellow rider I asked to see his Harley. He has an adorable German Shepherd named Abby. I spent about a week with him when he was stationed in Anchorage in 2011, so I think it had been about six years since I last saw him. He is out of the Air Force and doing some things that sound really interesting!

We let JC get to bed and went out to grab a bite to eat. We had some really interesting discussions. My grandparents had mentioned they sent Erica to the Marian Pritchett School in Boise Idaho for pregnant teens to protect her from bullying, not out of a sense of shame. To hear Erica's side, it seemed like Grandpa was really mad and had a temper (must run in the family, i know i do!) and she felt maybe it was more out of anger and shame.

Sarah and I did an little research and the Marian Pritchett School is still around! Their mission is

"to provide a confidential, safe environment for pregnant young women and parenting teen mothers and fathers who want to learn about pregnancy and parenting while earning their high school diploma."

Pretty neat! Especially because Erica made a lifelong friend at the school who currently lives near Niagara Falls. It was interesting to me that her friend made the decision to raise her child while Erica chose adoption. I wonder if it was hard for her to be around babies right after giving birth to me.

One of my dearest friends, Jaclyn and I were pregnant at the same time. She got me through A LOT. I must have sent her a million, "is this normal?" texts, and insomnia texts and i'm a hot mess texts. Her daughter was born about seven weeks after BB. I was there and I don't remember anything except being ecstatic for Jaclyn and just being there for her as a friend.

During lunch with Sarah and Erica, Erica mentioned how nervous she was to meet me. I don't know if I was in a haze or what but I don't remember a lot of the emotions leading up to meeting her. I remember needing to help my mom with her emotions, she just needed some assurance she was not being replaced. I must have worried if she would like me, love me, claim me, be proud of me, etc.

What I do remember is getting out of the rental van and Erica just grabbing my hand and not letting go, I needed that. It was immediate connection and assurance. There was a video where an adoptee says, "I didn't realize it but maybe I had been waiting for that hug for (in my case) for 18 years."

This visit felt a little different to me. Maybe it was because I could understand her on a level I couldn't before. I wanted to be closer to her and more affectionate. My grandpa when talking to me about Erica would say "your mom" this or "your mom" that, and I used to have such a hard time with that because I felt I was disrespecting my (adoptive) mom's title.

I don't feel that way anymore. I have a deeper understanding that as a parent can love multiple children, a child can love multiple parents.

Each relationship will be very different and that it's no longer the word "mom" that causes me to pause. I can now say the word mom in reference to Erica and think unconditional love, special bond, adoption, birth mom.

I can say the word mom in reference to my (adoptive) mom and think unconditional love, parent, history, best friend, protector, etc. Same word, but very different feelings associated with each.

After picking up Ken's car from the dealership from an oil change we went shopping to pick up a few things. Sarah and I were clearly going through Game of Thrones withdraw:

                                  Mother of 2 dragons and umm a dinosaur haha!

                              My other favorite photo was of Sarah and Erica's dog Abby:

The rest of the trip included amazing pizza, hanging out with horses, sheep and goats. Erica really seems like she's in her element and happy on the ranch, and I love seeing that!

It was another short visit, but a wonderful one. I was bummed my sister Amber couldn't make it, her kids were sick so I completely understand not wanting to travel! I've met my niece Amerie and get to be an adoring aunt from far away. I haven't had the opportunity to meet my nephew yet, but I hope to change that soon!

We talked a bit about coming back out to Idaho for a visit with BB, Macie and Tom. I know for me it's always easier to say goodbye when there are future plans scheduled.

Next stop on our trip: Coeur D'Alene for lunch and then Glacier National Park!



Oh and if you're interested in our shenanigans Sarah has a fantastic blog at http://www.thedepressedhiker.com/

Sawtooth Mountains and the Combos Incident of 2017

(This is the second in a series of posts about my trip out West, a trip as an adoptee to see my biological family, spend time with my daughter and her adoptive parents during her second birthday, and a road trip with my best friend filled with new experiences!)

It's not lost on me that one of the reasons I am able to take a two week vacation to visit my birth family and then my daughter and her amazing family is because my birth mom chose adoption for me and I chose adoption for my daughter. Let's continue!

Continuing our trip Sarah drove and I slept most of the 3 1/2 hours from Boise Idaho to Alturas Lake in the Sawtooth Mountains. Sarah and I split the rental cost of a little Kia, in the land of trucks and SUVs she was little but mighty! We put more than 2,000 miles on that little car and probably took out a bug population or two.

Sarah and I would love to be official drivers for Kia and produce marketing material of how well that little car can venture all over the world. Have your people call our people!

Above is a picture of our little kia in the badlands, I'll get to those stories later.

We were smart in preordering stroop waffles for breakfast, dehydrated mountain house meals, chi protein coffee, and protein packs and having them delivered to my aunt's house.

Obviously you are not allowed to fly with fuel, but I brought my Jet Boil and figured we could buy fuel once we got closer to the SawTooths. WRONG! Because they had been in the area of totality for the Eclipse, they were out of everything. Including fuel for the next two weeks.

Thankfully Sarah made friends with some folks at our campground at Alturas Lake. The Joneses. They even offered to make us some coffee in the morning. Mrs. Jones was really knowledgeable about local tribes and their history.

We just relaxed the rest of the day and swam in the glacial cold waters of Alturas Lake and made ourselves at home on an old dried out log and spent the late afternoon reading.

Sarah in Alturas Lake, Sawtooth Mountains in Idaho

  (Home sweet home!)

We ended up across from this beautiful little stream which had recently spawned a lot of Salmon. The water was crystal clear!

We left the rain fly off for the night and I woke up in the middle of the night and sat straight up amazed by the stars. I accidentally freaked Sarah out by doing that, but I'm glad we had the opportunity to look at the stars together.

The next day we visited with the Joneses for a bit, took them up on their offer for coffee. They were very knowledgeable and passionate about their coffee. If I was much of a coffee drinker, I would have been sold on whatever they were drinking!

We decided to go on Bridal Veil Falls Hike. 4 miles in and 4 miles back with some moderate elevation changes but nothing too crazy. I was still really sick but was determined not to miss out on this experience or cause Sarah to miss out on these incredible views.

Stanley Lake

If I have the opportunity to do it again, I would probably want to camp at Stanley Lake.. look at that view! We knew most of the North West was on fire but were a little worried when firemen parked in the lot as we were putting on our boots. Sarah asked if we should be worried. The response of, "meh" is not very helpful. They explained they were going to check on a fire that should be completely contained if not out. Sarah told them if something goes wrong we are up there!

 So the Bridal Veil Falls description said it was 4 miles in, we got to the four mile point and found a beautiful place to have lunch where a rock bed came together between converging streams. We asked another couple how far we were from the falls. He pointed wayyyyyy up into the mountains. 

There was no way we were getting there. Well played mother nature. Well played.

After our hike we drove from the Sawtooth Mountains to Lewiston, Idaho to see my birth mom Erica.

There was a combos incident of 2017. Sarah got bit by a tick and is now allergic to mammal meat. She accidentally bought the pepperoni combos. Thankfully mid chew she immediately spit them out and asked me to read the ingredients. "Beef fat." She tossed the bag of combos over to me, though admittedly I felt guilty eating them in front of her and they sat the majority of the trip in the passenger door.

We have a few incidents of 2017, one of which is the Panera incident where we ended up at completely separate locations looking for the other while saying, "I'm here! Where are you?" So far we've avoided repeating that!

By the way... Sarah is hilarious and so genuine. She has a fabulous blog. Check her out at: http://www.thedepressedhiker.com/

Her perspectives of our journey will be published this fall, she has a wonderful queue of posts lined up to post automatically, she's much better at this blogging thing than I am!

Next post: Spending time in Lewiston with my birth mom :)

Rooted in love

(This is the first in a series of posts about my trip out West, a trip as an adoptee to see my biological family,  spend time with my daughter and her adoptive parents during her second birthday, and a road trip with my best friend filled with new experiences!)

A year's worth of work was about to culminate in an event called the Secretary of Defense Employer Support Freedom Award on Aug. 25. My co-workers kept mentioning to me they bet I couldn't wait for it to be over. The amount of stress and lack of sleep was unreal.

It wasn't so much that I couldn't wait for it to be over, but I couldn't wait for my trip out West. The team executed the event flawlessly. As I sat at a table in an Irish Pub called Sine surrounded by people I was so appreciative of, people who put everything on the line to honor our guests, it was a moment of being sublimely proud and content.

If I had to do it over again, I would not have scheduled my flight for 6 a.m. the next morning. I was sleep deprived, on a weird eating schedule and drained. I exhaled the stress once I sat on my first flight. With every exhale I felt my health declining and of course became sick..ugh! I was run down but I was soaring through the air over the county on my way to family, to adventure, to new experiences and I could not wait to throw my arms around my best friend Sarah and hear all about her backpacking adventures, especially during the eclipse. She had arrived about a week earlier in Wyoming with her sister. Her sister flew out of Boise, Idaho the same day I flew in.

On my birth mom's side of the family my Aunt Andrea, Aunt Robin, her husband Jeremy, my Grandma Mary and my Grandpa Rob were awaiting our arrival. We had a fabulous pizza dinner. I hugged each of them extra long and extra tight, it had been a long time since I had been in Boise. We talked about my birth mom's adoption decision, what each of their own perspectives were which naturally led to discussions on my decision to place BB for adoption. They were honest discussions but each from a place of love.

One of my absolute favorite things about my best friend is her story-telling ability and sense of humor, she is so intelligent and hilarious. The speed her brain works is just marvelous. The entire evening was filled with laughter. Until that moment, I didn't realize how fiercely I missed them.

(My best friend Sarah and my Aunt Robin's dog Keelyn) 

Consciously, I never think about the fact I don't really look like my mom, dad or sister. In this room, the smiles, the hair, the expressions, it was familiar, I belong. I also love the reminder that Washington D.C. is not the only way of life. Farming and being a rancher and caring for livestock and the land, it's a good reminder of my roots. It's hard work. REALLY hard work. I can't help but sometimes wonder what it would be like to have grown up here. I'd like to think I would be one hell of a horse woman, but I may not have ever left the town and gotten to see the world. I wouldn't be the same person, and I really like myself. I got the best of both worlds.

I loved getting to spend time with my Aunt Robin. She is an incredible artist!

The only sad part was realizing how much time had gone by since I had seen them. Their Rottweiler Braun was around 2 when I saw him, youthful and full of energy. He is a wonderful senior at 11 years old, but with his arthritis it was a reminder of just how much time had really passed.

We got on the road the next morning. It wasn't enough time, but I loved every minute of it. Sarah was kind enough to drive and let me medicate myself and sleep on the way. We were off to the incredible Sawtooth Mountains then to Lewiston to spend time with my birth mom Erica.