You can't find peace...

I recently finished a book called "The Orphan Train." It opened my eyes to some of our country's history I never knew.

A quarter of a million children from East Coast orphanages were loaded on trains and sent to the Midwest.  They were presented at each train stop for "picking" from 1854 to 1929. Most weren't adopted, they were used as labor, "picked" and then discarded at any whim.

The novel is fiction but highlights this little-known part of history by linking the present with the past. I highly recommend it if you're looking for a good read.

There was a quote that really struck me. "You can not find peace until you find all the pieces." I met a woman on my flight to L.A. yesterday. When I pulled out my laptop she asked about the picture of BB, and so began our conversation about open adoption. She was very much against it.

I understand the fears, the unknowns, the protective nature you take on as a parent, but what would life be like if we ran and shutout everything we were afraid of? You're denying a peace to a child because he/she won't have all the pieces.

It makes me more and more thankful every day for being matched with and choosing BB's parents. This week I also challenged more of my own bias. When asked what kind of parents I was BB to go to I mentioned wanting her to go to parents where she would be their first child. I'm sure I chose that because I'm the oldest child, enjoyed the experience and wanted her to have the same and not have to share for a while. (If she ends up with younger brothers or sisters one day, that's wonderful! If not, that's great too!)

Well I met an amazing couple who has adopted two children and their hearts are open and ready to adopt a third. As a birth mother, I would not have chosen them from a packet because they have two children. (On the opposite side, a birth mother may not want a couple because they don't have children). What I didn't realize is that by having two children already you can get a sense of their parenting style, see how much love they have to give and see if they follow through on their communication plan with their child's birth mother. They are amazing! I ALMOST wish I could have a second baby just to place with them, they have such a close and amazing relationship with their son's birth mother. It really gives me a lot of hope for what my relationship with BB's parents could grow into.

So now I realized I had two biases - single parents (that post is here) and parents with children. So if you're anything like me, don't count them out!  (I wouldn't trade Macii and Tom for the world though!)

As I write this, I'm in the Biltmore in L.A. for a wedding. I'm continuing the tradition of picking up a book for BB wherever my travels take me and writing her a note in it. I picked up "Good Night Los Angeles" during this trip.

 I just sent off an Easter and St. Patrick's day package to Macii, Tom and BB. I'll post some photos after they receive it :)

I'll have more to write about the wedding, but for now here is a photo I took last night of the lobby. It was built in 1923 and the timeless elegance of the building reflects that.