Hair Loss!! ahhh!! The average person loses 100 hairs a day, but during pregnancy you lose far less than that due to raging hormones. Now that the pregnancy is over, the body compensates and loses extra hair for the first six months after delivery. But don't worry -- your hair will soon return to its normal growth cycle. (can that be now? Now would be good.) UGH! It's really thinning above my temples and my forehead, lovely.
I did a few things right after BB was born that I'm not sure I would recommend for others. Two weeks after my C-section I went to my friend's baby shower. It was mostly hilarious with her husband's grandmother telling the best stories and really funny games. I've always considered Jaclyn's family my own. She and I would vacation with each others families when we were college roommates. It was great as always to see her mom and mutual friends we have.
There were a few moments when I was sad, birth parents don't get to have baby showers. I wouldn't get to be in a room surrounded by my aunt and grandmother and friends playing games and just enjoying all the love for the baby I gave birth too. There was also a very adorable little blonde haired girl running around as toddlers do and it made me wonder what BB would look like as she got older and what kind of personality she would develop.
I was also comforted by the thought Macii and Tom would get three baby showers! BB was welcomed into that family with more love than I ever knew was even possible.
A couple of months later in October after my first day back to work, I went to the hospital to visit Jaclyn who had just given birth to her beautiful daughter Emilia who is a miracle. She was born 4 lbs 10 oz and didn't need the NICU or any additional support. She will be two months old on Sunday and is really growing! She weighed in yesterday at 8 lbs. 10 oz. which was BB's birth weight.
I mention all of this because I've spent some time the past couple of days with Jaclyn and Emilia. I'm really grateful to get a glimpse into what life is like with a newborn. I get an idea of what I'm missing out on. It also reaffirms my decision. The exhaustion and the pressure of being responsible for a human life... I don't think anyone can really prepare you for that. I couldn't have done that alone while trying to work. Jaclyn and her husband make a good team and their beautiful happy healthy daughter is proof of that.
Sure, i'm missing out on the first smiles, the first laugh, the first everything, but BB gets to grow up in a much more loving and calm environment with her parents than she would have with me.
Emilia and I hanging out yesterday :)
If you are looking for more to read check out my additional blog posts on Graceful Adoptions' Page:
Adoption Myth Two; Birth Parents are to be Feared
Amy’s Story Part One: Life or Death?
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