I'll be participating in all three parent cafe sessions which give prospective parents the opportunity to meet foster, adoptive and birth parents. Karen is getting me hooked up with some business cards with this blog linked to it and a name tag stating i'm a birth mom. I'm really excited to share my experience as a birth mom and adoptee, hopefully I can provide some different perspectives.
I also feel very grateful that I can stay in touch with Karen, I consider her a really good friend of mine and this event will give me an opportunity to see her and my lawyer. He's facilitating a session on exploring the Adoption Options: A Legal Overview.
I kind of wish I had built some time into my schedule to sit in on some of the workshops, but I feel I can be the most helpful at the Parent Cafe. It covers everything from Adoption/Foster Care resources, Domestic Infant Adoption, Foster Parenting, International Adoption, LGBTQ Adoption, Older Child Adoption and Transracial Adoption.
Karen and I were texting about this event throughout the day yesterday (Veterans Day) while I was out hiking and off-roading in the Jeep with Sarah. I was telling Sarah all about it and we discussed how not everyone's experience is as smooth as mine has been, to make sure to highlight the difficult things just as much as the joys. I'll write a future post about some of the harder experiences my family and I have gone through when I was growing up in a later post.
Here are some photos of our hike up Big Schloss. It's a steep 2 miles up and a steep 2 miles down. I'm certainly not in the shape I have been and needed a couple of breaks, but it was also my first time out with my new pack with some weight in it. The views were incredible and the company was even better. A few photos from our trip:
Waiting in the Jeep for Sarah, puppy snuggles!
A girl and her GIANT dog. :)
Testing out my new pack.
Max, Mook and Sarah on a bit of a rock scramble.
One of my favorite photos of Sarah :)
Water Break. They are hoping I have cheese for them.
Off-Roading at Taskers Gap and Peters Mill.
I was telling Sarah about some stories I heard and articles I had read about some birth moms not being able to cope quite as well. It made me wonder if I was coping too well. That may sound dumb, but really.. should I be a bit more of a mess? I just keep telling myself there is no "standard" on how to react. Every single person has a different experience and every situation is different and each warrants their own response, and each is valid.
Sarah and I did talk about how different our day would have been had I made the choice to keep BB. It wouldn't be better or worse, just different. We would not have been out hiking and off-roading that's for sure!
I also realized I can tell a couple of stories about Dutch without feeling angry anymore. I told Sarah the story of how I backed into a car and how mortified I was that he was in the car and how he was kind enough not to tell our friends that night, but we could laugh over the looks we gave each other, and how mad I was when someone text me a anonymous photo with an old co-worker of mine on the back of his motorcycle. Thinking about the watch still makes me angry.
A friend who works with Dutch asked me if I regretted choosing adoption and asked if the question was too personal. No question is too personal, and "no," I replied. I have not regretted my decision for one moment. Sure, I get sad from missing out on certain things, but there is no regret, especially when I see the amazing photos of BB smiling and being loved and adored.
Macii sent me a text on Tuesday night with photos of BB, telling me how BB thinks monkeys are hilarious (Sarah and I agree- she's smart because monkeys ARE hilarious!) Macii also told me how she and Tom sat down and talked to some prospective adoptive parents and how it was interesting, like looking into a mirror a year and a half ago. I love that they are helping others too!
I sent them a second care package for Thanksgiving, I won't post the contents though until it has arrived because it has some really neat surprises in it :) I need to ask Macii if they mind if I post a couple of my favorite photos of BB, I always want to make sure I'm being respectful of their privacy.
I hope to see you all at the expo!
Oh! oh! oh! by the way.. Sarah has her own blog that highlights her incredible sense of humor and touches on her struggle with depression. I highly recommend checking it out: http://thedepressedhiker.blogspot.com/
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