BB meets her parents for the first time

Macii and Tom walked into the room with beautiful flowers and it was wonderful to see them. They were introduced to BB and they instantly fell in love. I have a photo of what looks to be the exact moment Macii fell in love. I love that photo. It captures the very moment my daughter's mother fell in loved with her deeply and completely. Tom mentioned he was doomed, he was instantly wrapped around her finger.

Without a doubt here were BB's parents. There was a quote I was in love with while I was pregnant... "she is mine in a way she will never be theirs and she is theirs in a way she will never be mine." I don't like it anymore. She grew in my body and grew in their hearts, it's a really special bond.

My parents and sister with BB.

Thank God for Sarah.. three new parents completely clueless. Sarah showed Macii and Tom how to swaddle BB. I had not gained feeling in my legs yet and was unable to stand. My parents, Sarah and Katie left the hospital. So there we were, three clueless parents with a newborn.

Later that evening, Tom went to pick up some food and we had Chinese or Thai I cant quite remember but I ate the potstickers and they were wonderful! We caught up on the day, how the procedure went and how their flight in was. Of course the minute they decided to get out of the hotel for a bit and burn some energy is the moment they received the call she was born.. just like things happen when my mom would go to use the restroom, or when you go to the restroom and your food arrives.

 At some point the IV in my hand came out and I looked down thinking my hand was stinging, it was  HUGE. I NEED a nurse! The fluid had left the vein and entered into my hand it looked like an inflated rubber glove blown up. The nurse came and took the IV out. I was drinking and peeing enough that it was determined OK to take it out. (I'm laughing at myself for posting this ridiculous photo.)

The hospital set up Macii and Tom across the hall from me which was perfect. When I started to get really tired and just overwhelmed by the day they rolled BB out so I could get some rest. Rest! HA! The nurses come in every hour or so to push on my stomach, make sure I'm not bleeding excessively and deliver pain meds. They also helped me get out of bed for the first time, I moved gingerly but was glad to have new hospital granny panties and pads on.

It is so ridiculous to measure your urine for them when you look like you are bleeding to death, ugh. 

I tried to get some sleep but it just wasn't happening so Karen from Graceful Adoptions came over and stayed up with me a bit. She flew in from Iowa. She might have arrived earlier to spend time with all of us, but that part is a little fuzzy.

I was a little hurt and surprised that not a single person from my family was staying with me over night, that was a major surgery and emotionally a big deal, looking back on it I should have just told my mom I'd like her to stay, but didn't want to force her to spend the night in a hospital.

One of the few times I was finally able to fall asleep my nurse Tutu walked in and scared the hell out of me! I did a startle reflex just like BB did and I just started laughing, Tutu said I was her favorite on the floor :) I just really appreciated my nurses. Some were better than others, my favorites would deliver pain meds on time.. I didn't ask for much.

Mornings in the hospital were my favorite. I would text Tom and Macii when I woke up and they would wheel BB in and hand her to me to feed her. We would talk about my night, her night, their night. They would hold her when I wanted to eat and I would take her so they could go get breakfast to bring upstairs. I had french toast, juice, eggs, sausage and couldn't eat the cereal and milk. Hospital food had really improved!

My catheter was taken out Friday morning. I was told I had to go to the bathroom twice with nurse help and then I would be allowed to go on my own and shower on my own. I did so well the first trip I was allowed to go to the bathroom unassisted and take a shower. The catheter removal wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, deep breath in and on the exhale they pulled, I felt a pinch but it wasn't bad.

I showered and was in my own clothes!!

Karen stopped by later that afternoon to hang out with Macii, Tom, BB  and myself. I was getting mad at my mom for saying she was going to go out to lunch instead of visit me in the hospital and would come with dad later on. Didn't they understand they would only get a limited amount of time with her? My sister and Dad had to work.

My mom had been so mad at my dad during my C-section for taking work calls. I thought it was hypocritical she got mad at him but then chose lunch over coming to the hospital. I didn't realize she had seen Karen as the enemy and felt Karen was trying to take over her caretaker role as mom.

Macii and Tom picked a really good time to go get food. My mom didn't even acknowledge Karen's existence, asked her to leave and looked a bit crazy, hair was disheveled, not put together, it came out that she had been at home crying all day and that this was the hardest thing she has ever had to go through. Her anger was directed at Karen. I didn't help the situation by getting into a fight with mom, but I was embarrassed and angry and asked why she couldn't pull it together. Shouldn't I be the one who is a mess?

Karen came back in the room to get her stuff and my mom asked her if they could start over, it was still tense and very raw, but at least she made an effort. Karen left for the evening as my dad arrived and Macii and Tom came back. The rest of Friday night was really nice, we all told stories about our day, dad went to pick up pizza, we took funny videos of Macii and Tom high-fiving before changing BB. The nurse came in and said if BB passed all of her tests we could be released tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon.

I never realized how many tests they put babies through, APGAR, blood tests,vaccinations, hearing tests, and sometimes car seat tests if they are small. The nurses also offered me an extra day at the hospital to stay with BB if I needed it, but I felt none of us were getting any sleep.

The nurses left me alone a lot longer Friday night, the mechanic came in and fixed the A/C, so it went from being warm to being blizzard temperature. We covered the vents with pillows and blankets. It made it much nicer for me to sleep. I also took off the leg squeezing things, they were driving me nuts!

Poor Macii and Tom had a rough night with BB because her feet were being pricked when she was hungry, tired and needed a diaper change, poor baby girl!

I woke up early on Saturday, got showered and dressed. Tom had perfect timing and brought BB in so I could feed her a bottle. He told me about a song he sang to her, it was a song of all the names of the people who loved her. It's beautifully long.

I wrapped BB up in my nice soft black robe. She only had to be double swaddled the first 24 hours, after that we went to one blanket and she quickly discovered she preferred to be able to stretch and move around.

If you put your baby's head on your chest, the sound of your heart beat calms them down. When she was first born the skin to skin contact helped her body figure out how to regulate itself and find the right temperature. Pretty amazing stuff. I held her for about 3 hours as she ate and then quickly fell asleep. Macii slept in a bit to catch up on all the sleep she missed, it was a rough night for them!

It was also a very big day, we were going to be released from the hospital.