Hopefully I wrote some things down in my journal about the dinner, but for now there are several things that stick out in my mind about Sept. 7. It would be the last time for a while I would see our daughter.
I like using "our" instead of mine. It took two of us to create her. Macii and Tom are her parents. She is ours :)
It was the first day I put on clothes and didn't sit around in PJs. I was back in my size 14 pants!!! My clothes fit! Hallelujah! I took many selfies, I didn't share them with anyone because they were just for a moment to capture some happiness I felt for a fleeting moment.
Sarah arrived first and she was a wonderful buffer between being swallowed in my emotions and enjoying the moment.
Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like embracing family you haven't seen in a very long time. Your heart yearns to hug them and welcome them in and not let them go. That's how I felt when Tom and Macii pulled into the driveway with BB.
My parents made a wonderful meal of fresh grilled Salmon and vegetables.
Sarah and BB
I loved that I got the chance to see Macii, Tom and BB as a family unit. I got to see how they interact with her, how much they care for her, their sense of humor and amazement in everything she did. I'm so thankful for that opportunity.
BB and I
My sister, Mom and BB
My Dad and BB
We exchanged gifts.
I got necklaces for BB, Macii and myself that say chosen. Macii was chosen to be BB's mom. BB was chosen to be Macii and Tom's daughter. I was chosen as a birth mother.
I didn't think Tom would appreciate a necklace so I got him a keychain with engraved washers. They also said "Chosen with love" and I included their names on the second washer.
My sister gave BB the softest plush cat in the hat stuffed animal with a bunch of Dr. Seuss books. Katie has her own Cat in the Hat that's very special to her and wanted to make sure BB had something to remember her by and enjoy.
If you've some of my earlier posts, you'll know that one of the places Tom, Marcii and I went to before BB was born was the torpedo factory. My favorite artist is Alison Sigethey. Check her out at http://www.alisonsigethy.com/ She makes sea core bubble tubes that I just adore.
In addition to the sea core bubble tubes she makes these beautiful sculptures called Sea Jewels.
I was given a sea jewel from Macii and Tom, it was in a pale white to signify my birthstone (diamond for April) and the smaller jewel inside of it is blue for BB's birthstone (a sapphire for September). The sapphire sat inside of the diamond and resembled the shape of a pregnant belly. I couldn't imagine a more perfect gift. They also asked if I would like to write a note for BB in the Mulberry Book I had given them. Of course I did!
The night was getting late and it was time to say our goodbyes. I was really happy that I wasn't the blubbering snot crying mess I was at the hospital. There was a small chance that if ICPC took a while to clear that Macii and Tom would come over and maybe join us for a picnic or go sit on the sailboat for lunch. I think having that as a possibility helped me keep it together. I kissed my sweet girl and told her I would see her later. I hugged Macii and Tom and watched them walk to the car with my favorite person in the whole wide world sleeping in the car seat they carried.
We didn't get an opportunity to see them again, but I was happy for them to get home and not be stuck in a hotel with a newborn. They text me when they arrived, they had such a huge welcome home that is caused a scene at the airport. I love that BB, Tom and Macii got to have that moment.
I was also sad thinking that I wouldn't get that same experience of introducing her to my extended family. That's ok. I just referred back to the list of reasons I placed her for adoption. She gets so much more love, not less. This is all for her. I never wavered or questioned my decision, I just missed her and missed the possibilities of things that could happen.
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